gwendoline auerbach
full name
nicknames
date of birth
hometown
residences
occupation
marital status
gwendoline rose auerbach
gwen, gwenjamin franklin, boyz ii gwen
september 15, 1987
flemington, new jersey
chelsea, manhattan, New York
bartender at cubbyhole
single
Gwen was one of the lucky few who spent most of her life free of any significant responsibility. As the only child of a pair of private business-owners, she was guaranteed a job and a paycheck the day she graduated from high school, and never had much reason to look elsewhere for employment. Working at her parents' gas station and diner certainly wasn't the most exciting career, but being the bosses' daughter came hand in hand with a the kind of job security most people could only dream of.

There was no shortage of privilege working for the family business. Calling in sick when you didn't feel like working was all too easy when you lived with the proprietors. So was slacking off without serious reprimand. She was resented by her co-workers, but their approval was generally worth less to Gwen than taking full advantage of her situation. She made decent tips in the restaurant and routinely got weekends off, which she usually spent at a bar or a party, getting drunk and handing out her phone number. Her life carried on in this carefree fashion even after she moved out of her parents' house and got her own apartment in Brooklyn. When she couldn't quite cover rent, she'd pout and swindle what she needed out of her father, who always caved and wrote her a check.

A safety net like that was like a siren's song that was hard to deny. With guaranteed job security and little incentive to look elsewhere, Gwen didn't put much stock into secondary education, and spent most of her early twenties travelling on her parents' dime. While her old classmates and friends back home were earning degrees to cement their futures, she was celebrating New Year's eve in Bali or playing tourist in Barcelona, great experiences that left her with little more than bloated photo albums on Facebook. When she got her wanderlust and partying out of her system, the plan was to take up her parents mantle, and run the business in their stead when they were ready to retire.

The only thing about plans is, they don't always work out. Gwen's mom suffered a stroke and was hospitalized over Gwen's twenty-fifth birthday weekend, cutting the festivities short and requiring several days of observation before being discharged. Her prognosis was positive for the most part, but the stress of maintaining a business was too much, and her physician advised selling it off. Gwen, although unequipped to take over, protested the decision, but ultimately lost. And with the dissolution of her parents' company, so went her guaranteed career.

Gwen navigated aimlessly through the workforce over the next two years, settling for minimun wage retail jobs and working for tips at chain restaurants because she lacked the necessary credentials to land anything better. Between poor work ethic and a lack of experience with answering to any authority but her parents, she's been fired more than once for absuing sick days and showing up late. The first time she decided she was going to get her act together, she enrolled in a few courses at a local community college, but ultimately flunked out. The second time around, she got it in her head to pursue dog grooming, but quit the first time one bit her. Currently she's enrolled in a makeup course with the intention of doing freelance work for extra cash, and to date, it's the longest she's ever stuck with anything.

After lapsing on rent for the last time, she was evicted from her apartment and forced to bunk with her best friend from back home. Currently employed at Cubbyhole as a bartender, where she works just hard enough to avoid being fired.

+ she's an only child, and has inferred that she was an "oops baby" -- a deduction based largely on the fact that her parents were in their early-40s when she was born.

+ has racked up tonnes of debt through a life-time of poor spending habits. somehow, cobbling together cash and credit cards for new shoes and bottles of vodka was a piece of cake, but covering bills month to month was a struggle. she's in the process of paying it off.

+ Her parents used to run a combination gas station and diner. She mostly waited tables in the restaurant while she worked for them, but occasionally ran the cash register in the convenience store.

+ naturally brunette, but began bleaching her hair during her senior year of high school. occasionally switches back to her roots, but inevitably goes back to blonde.

+ she's well-versed in the old adage that money doesn't buy happiness, but that hasn't stopped her from hemorrhaging her savings like they're going out of style. name any product hawked during a 4 a.m. infomercial, and chances are she's owned it at some point in her life.

+ as a career binge drinker, she seems to have a bottomless reservoir of stories that involve some kind of ridiculous sexual misadventure, and/or accidental nudity. ask her some time. she's happy to share.

+ that being said, she spends most of her weekends furiously unleashing heaven on the90sbutton.com and drunk texting her exes. in that order.